Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
