Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
