remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we made out on top of his cat.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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