The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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