He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Randomize
