i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize