If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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