you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize