two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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