she looked like the before picture.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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