Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Help. Why am I so naked?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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