Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
