I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
