i don't like sucking hair
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
