our cab driver is having phone sex.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
