The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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