it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
