Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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