the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
