So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
