Me too!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
