do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
