The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
