this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize