Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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