Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
