She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
