i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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