Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
