My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
