so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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