I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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