HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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