Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
