just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
