In the future we'll all be gay
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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