I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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