just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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