Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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