Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
