Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My life is pants optional.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
