where does the pee come out of this thing
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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