Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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