The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
