If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
