is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is Oprah even human
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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