Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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