Dual....:-)
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
