We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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