I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
