and you said cock pushups were impossible
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
