my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
