it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize