was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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