Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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