I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
