I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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