Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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