how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
