Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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