I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize