Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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