I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
nutella sex= disaster
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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