Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
